INT. BALLROOM, NIGHT
BAZ LUHRMANN, ASSISTANT
BAZ snorts an impressive line of coke off a huge mirror in the middle of an empty ballroom by night.
BAZ: (To his reflection) Who is the best director? YOU ARE!!
The ASSISTANT enters.
ASSISTANT: Mr. Luhrmann! Sir! Good news!
BAZ: You scored Quaaludes?
ASSISTANT: Even better! You have a green light on that Romeo and Juliet film!
BAZ: On that what?
ASSISTANT: The Romeo and Juliet adaptation you pitched that producer last night. You don’t remember?
BAZ: How would I remember!? I dropped so much acid before that meeting, I was surprised and slightly disappointed to find myself alive this morning!
ASSISTANT: Well, you pitched an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet and they loved it.
BAZ: I guess I should read it then, huh?
ASSISTANT: Uhm ... Yeah ...
The ASSISTANT awkwardly hands BAZ his worn copy of the beloved play. BAZ sits and reads for a while.
BAZ: Oh fuuuuck ...
ASSISTANT: What is it?
BAZ: This is BORING!
... and then he had everyone yell all the time, cut a thousand times per second and threw 873 musical scenes in the mix, thus making the play truly boring indeed. Maximalism is exhausting. And very, very loud ...