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  • Lars Henriks

Maximalism is exhausting and very loud

INT. BALLROOM, NIGHT


BAZ LUHRMANN, ASSISTANT


BAZ snorts an impressive line of coke off a huge mirror in the middle of an empty ballroom by night.


BAZ: (To his reflection) Who is the best director? YOU ARE!!


The ASSISTANT enters.


ASSISTANT: Mr. Luhrmann! Sir! Good news!


BAZ: You scored Quaaludes?


ASSISTANT: Even better! You have a green light on that Romeo and Juliet film!


BAZ: On that what?


ASSISTANT: The Romeo and Juliet adaptation you pitched that producer last night. You don’t remember?


BAZ: How would I remember!? I dropped so much acid before that meeting, I was surprised and slightly disappointed to find myself alive this morning!


ASSISTANT: Well, you pitched an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet and they loved it.


BAZ: I guess I should read it then, huh?


ASSISTANT: Uhm ... Yeah ...


The ASSISTANT awkwardly hands BAZ his worn copy of the beloved play. BAZ sits and reads for a while.


BAZ: Oh fuuuuck ...


ASSISTANT: What is it?


BAZ: This is BORING!

... and then he had everyone yell all the time, cut a thousand times per second and threw 873 musical scenes in the mix, thus making the play truly boring indeed. Maximalism is exhausting. And very, very loud ...

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