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  • AutorenbildLars Henriks

Thoughts on "I married a Witch"

(Watched on the Criterion Channel)

This one is SO ripe for a remake!

The weird sub-genre of Witchy RomComs has its main problem in the love potions. Don't use those. They fuck up the whole story.

In this film, too, the whole love story only comes about because the witch drinks a potion. So, basically, it's all fake and non-consensual. How would one care, then? It's a problem, it should be dealt with. No more love potions!

The second major flaw of this film is the male protagonist. He never drinks a love potion but always acts like he did. So, basically, he's just very, very stupid, gullible and horny. How would one care for such a person? Ugh.

Apart from those two flaws, though, this is an incredibly charming and funny movie. Especially the witch's father is, obviously, a delight.

The best thing about this is the rich mythology that gets alluded to. The witch's father is 80.000 years old and has been around for all of mankind's history. Thus, for a couple of moments, this film feels downright Lovecraftian.

Also, am I right in assuming the two clouds of smoke disposed of the original inhabitants of their later body by killing them? And that's never really addressed? The Inn beyond the fog was kind of mysterious and creepy, too, wasn't it? I mean, it wasn't, in the end, but it appeared to be, at first.

The moment when the protagonist and his sidekick realize just how powerful the witch and her father are has some true and unexpected tension, too.

So much potential!

Imagine the remake leaning heavier on the elements of ancient evil and existential dread, making the witch and her dad truly scary, fixing the love story, making it genuine, making you care for it - An honest, heartfelt, funny love story embedded in a truly dark and foreboding atmosphere of unthinkable horrors.

That movie would be an instant favorite of mine.

This one is charming, funny and a product of its time. Nice for a cozy afternoon.

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